Working on sat.......yeah

Lately busy with work.......actually not really that much work. It's just that the traffic jam is making it worse........by time I reach home I'm already exhausted.

This week is quite tough for me.......may be it's not that easy to be confident the whole 24 hours. Too much things occur out of my control......everything didn't go as well as I expect it would be. It's so hard to even maintain a smile on your face when everything come crashing down......

At first I thought I was going to do OT for this coming Saturday and Sunday....yes sat and sun. As it's the 3rd quarter closing......so thought that finally able to get a taste of how OT feels like......haha. Surely a lot ppl scolding me by now.......must thought that I'm not thinking right......

But very suprise is that Bin told us that we don't have to come on Sun as there might be very few case this time. Even those who are suppose to stay today also didn't have to stay back.

Haha.....never talk about ppl no matter day or night.....just now my trainer sms me to go back work tomorrow. Looks like I finally have a taste of working during rest day.....haha. But got the feeling that it might be half day only......I wonder my sixth sense still works or not. Hhmm......tomorrow we'll know.

Very excited about tomorrow......may be it's a good opportunity to show my capability.

Be Confident!

Today finally saw Wai in the office but seems like he notice my friend more than me. Of course, I only knew him like for only less than 1 hour if you add up the conversation time.

What the heck.......May be I was hoping the one that being notice is me. Never mind......as I know what material I'm made from. I also putting too high hopes for the impossible. Never mind as long as he knew that I'm part of his collegue should be enough. I couldn't hope more....

This week I did change my attitude and felt more confidence. It even effect those beside me. Usually no one really talks to me but today even the ego Boon also take initiative asking me to join a trip to Cameron on next Friday. Of course I'm delighted with these changes in such a short period.

So I'm going to built more confidence in myself, as this few years too much incident have bring it down. Go girl !!!

Controlling

Usually I very afraird to go out and hang out with my friends, just because that my grandmother restrict me from that. Yes.....it's my grandmother, as my parents are not a control freak like my grandmother.

So I'm the very well known faithful girl back then, thanks to my grandmother. But nowadays, I don't bother about it anymore, it's not that my grandmother pass away or what, she's still very healthy and conscious for a 80 year old lady. It just that I need to socialise......I'm not young anymore.....this is one point that my grandmother doesn't seem to understand. One of the reason why my 27 year old brother still single and never had a girl friend before is that he's also under my grandmother's "control". Funny thing is that my grandmother asking him why doesn't have a girl friend.....duhh. How was he going to meet ppl when at home there's a control freak that restrict from going out besides going to work.

I don't want to be like that and most importantly is that I really hate being locked up. I'll do anything just only to be set free. Suddenly remind me back in primary school, there's a class trip to Langkawi, and I was only 10 years old back then. My good friend going to the trip also......so like any normal kid, of course I'm dying to go as well. So I beg my dad to let me go........my grandma 100% don't want to let me go may be I'm too small that time.....I don't even bother about her.......haha. I beg, I refuse to eat and then I use my secret weapon - my tears. My dad always have a soft spot for that......and then he finally agreed. Haha...... when think back, I felt very funny. I'm really quite brave back then.

I know that my grandmother stops us from hanging out too much is fear that we might mix with bad people and got influenced by them. But most importantly is that she worry about our safety as the world is not so safe anymore. I'm a grown up now, I know the limitation and I always inform them where and who I hanging out with. May be her traditional thoughts is that girls are safer to stay at home, little that she know that nowadays girls are more independent and protective of herself.........from simple pepper spray to taekwando. I think I should really find a day to brainwash her with all this........haha.

But today I really enjoy my outing with Yeen, Peng and Ling. I think that's the last time I'm going to eat a 'all you can eat' sushi set............my stomach til now is still very bloated. It almost feel like being pregnant.......haha. I think by eating something you like is one of the way to release stress......so long didn't really eat this full.........but I think need to control my diet and exercise a bit from today onwards.....haha. Please don't invite me to any sushi shop this few weeks as I might have temporary phobias.......lol.

Where you belong?

Hhmm........may be fooling your mind is a good way to actually think positively. I use to be very sad if people tend to forget me in doing things.....no matter it's a big thingy or small thingy.....my heart is just itching to be part of it.

Nowadays, I know that no matter how hard I force them to include me........there will always be a moment where they definitely will forget me completely......so what the heck that I trouble myself so much. Since they have forgotten me, I should just be happy about it, why should I bother as they are the one to supposed to feel bad for leaving me out again. It's not that I could die just because they left me out, I'm stil breathing and alive.......plus I'm not that desperate to be with them. They left me out is their lost.......

So lately I really enjoy myself a lot.......with all sorts of people that I mix with. I don't belong to anyone or any group.......I belong to myself.

明明很爱你

有多少人在旁边
我们都视而不见
彼此却忍不住地看几眼
感觉强烈

一句微笑的方便
已经暗示到极限
没勇气的人犹豫的瞬间
幸福就飘过面前

我平凡无奇
而你像灿烂星星
让我担心

明明很爱你
明明想靠近
但是你的身边有人捧花总是拥挤
我凭什么一一打败情敌
敢大声说要做你(我)的唯一

明明很爱你
明明想靠近
为什么还要再浪费时间不把你(我)抱紧
攻真心才是最厉害的武器
我会拼命让你更满意

讲配不配太俗气
说爱不爱要问起
爱由我们自己决定
不必理跌破谁的眼镜

有多少人在旁边
我们都视而不见
彼此却忍不奏看几眼
感觉强烈

已经微笑地放电
已经暗示到极限
没勇气的人犹豫的瞬间
幸福就飘过面前

我平凡无奇
而你像灿烂星星
让我担心

Oversensitive??

Am I missing something here? Am I oversensitive? I also not that sure.........

I notice that everytime Hong pass by my place, he seems like looking at me to see whether I'm looking at him too. But when our eyes contact, both of us just shy away......

Today, when I went to pantry for lunch, as I bring my own food from home.......he was there. I thought he was waiting for the microwave that I'm using because he's standing there. So I quickly take it out when it's time, but suprisingly he's actually using the other microwave but I don't know why he have to wait there as he's one is few more minutes to go.

So I just went to my group's usual table and have a game of foosball while waiting for the rest of my member. Then he come near to one of table there and looking at me and my friend playing the foosball. But then later he move to another table to join another collegue who's having lunch there also.

I also not sure whether all these are just false alarm.......but it has been going on ever since I move my place near to his area which is more than a month ago.........may be I'm oversensitive.

Fate

It's very funny how things goes in life......sometimes it seems like it's fate that things to be that way.

When I firstly got this current office job........my heart had always been towards the research and lab side. But all my offer letter for those field doesn't seem to reach that company......lol. So here I was still sticking to the office job which I don't really like that time but then it doesn't mean I like it now. May be what I like is its high pay......haha.

But I'm doing quite well in this current job, which is really a suprise for me. My coursemate, Ann, who had always wanted this kind of job and now in the same company with me, didn't do that well. I think the secret is no matter what field are you in, whether you like it or not, as long as you tried your best, success will come along eventhough you didn't ask for it.......haha my motto.

Now I'm quite popular in the company, thanks to my 'promoter', Bin, my trainer for keep on keep me busy with lots of work and doing free ad for me during training......lol. I think I'll still stick to this job unless I'm beginning to hate money.......haha which is impossible.

Seems like this is my very first blog here........I have already closed down a lots of my other blogs due to the rumours that I spread in my blog. Free advertisement for them ya........haha better warn everyone don't mess up my life.

So now I'm trying to get a hang on this one......likely no one's really interested to look at newbie's blog yet. But I'll improve on that..........watch me.........muahahaha...........sound so evil.