SIGH...........

SIGH................................................

Such a long sigh.......but actually in real life is longer. Today was scolded for doing a mistake. Actually wasn't really my mistake. I'm just follow the way that they taught us during training. So it's my fault that operations have different appraoch. Why can't they collaborate?? Making so many innocent people like me being scold for no reason.

Lunch.......actually my friend wanted to treat me as tomorrow is my birthday. But the Auntie Sam is not open today. Sigh.........end up eating some indian food which taste so ****. Making me feel throat itchy until now.

Tomorrow will be my first birthday since started to work. Which means I need to celebrate it with my colleague as likely there'll be OT required tomorrow.

SIGH.............................................

May be I'll feel better by thinking what present will I receive tomorrow and what cake will it be. Lol.......................

东禅寺

昨天，和同事一班人去东禅寺........其实我有在想如果不是我认得路如何去，他们还会约我去吗？我不知道，也不敢知道这残酷的真相。But 我只知道我人缘比一般人差......我也不知道为什么会这样。我人不错啊，可能我人太好而people take me for granted。虽然我表面上好像毫无所谓，其实我心里很介意。介意又怎样呢？还是要假装没事发生，继续生活下去。

昨天在那儿拜拜时，也有拓神保佑我，人缘好一些，生活过得开心一些。Even 许愿，也希望早日遇到自己生命中的白马王子...........可能没拍拖过的我太desperate了，自己也已24岁了，从未拍过拖好像很奇怪，而且再过几年我会觉得更可悲。看到身边的人都有对象了......自己心里有点不平衡。希望我的愿望能实现........

So cute....

Lol.......trying to be a watch dog while sleepy.

我会好好过

很久没blog了，脑里想了好多事，好多事都已过了.......but 脑袋里还在想着。想了又能怎样呢？可能remind自己当初有多傻吧。就算时间倒流，我觉得结果也是会一样。Moving on 虽然外表很坚强， 很开心，很开朗.........但内心却无人有办法了解。我也不渴望有人会了解，这种痛苦我一个人懂就好了。而且我也习惯不拖累其他人........

我会好好过.........这首歌虽然表达不了我心里的话，but 放心吧，我一定会过得很好.........每一天，每一分，每一秒。这不是你要的吗？

The End

Mixed feelings.......

Why do I do that for? It's so obviously that I'm trying to ask him some stupid favour so that he has the chance to talk to me. But now I feel like a complete fool. Not even a single word.......not even a single reply from him. All my open questions bump to an ending. No further conversation can be carried on. May be this is the real ending, the ending that will never be started all over again. May be all those feelings I have for you were just some mistake......neurologically wrongly interpreted.

I need to move on. Even though is tough to move on alone but is easier than to move on with you.

Early wish for Valentine's Day

Suppose to start work today, but my cough and fever is getting worst and it's disturbing my sleep as well. Finally went to see the Dr yesterday, Dr gave me MC for today, actually he wanted to issue yesterday's date, but since I already on leave yesterday and don't want the hassle to change it to MC later so I asked him to issue today's date. Luckily the Dr was so nice, it's also better for me to rest at home than spreading my cough in the company. Now it's getting better........

Since so many collegues was on leave for so many days for this festive season, the work load was of course a lot. One of my colleague who started work yesterday, she needs to stay for OT somemore. With my current health condition, is better that I just take a rest at home, or else I really would suffer in the office later.

Yesterday night my brother finally bought back his gf, of course at home my grandmother and parents starts their 'interview'.......haha. Hope it doesn't scares her. This should be his very first gf. Actually is quite weird nowadays for guys his age to have the first gf at this age. But after few more years, if I still stay single by then, then I'm not much different with my bro......haha. For him, may be work comes first, that's why it took him so long to actually get a gf.

For me, is not that cupid never strikes on me, is just that their arrow didn't penetrate deep inside my heart. Or in order words, I'm just a big fool in love........ with the Valentine's days just 24 hrs away from now. Hhmm......likely I'll be celebrating with my cough and flu at home. Because it'll destroy the mood if I were to celebrate with my singles friends at pub. Besides I'm a GOOD patient, should rest more and listen to Dr's advice........lol.

Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day to all the couples, may both of you have everlasting love. Not forgetting the Singles as well, hope that Cupid strikes deep into your heart and spend this lovely occasion with someone you care the most, whether is your family, your pet or your best pals......

Aren't we being courteous??

5th day of chinese new year........I thought that my ex-classmates will come, but then everyone's busy as nearly all have started to work today, unlike last time where everyone willing to ponteng the lectures just to hang around at friend's house collect lots and lots of ang pow.

Today went to the bank with my grandmother. As the bank location in KL is hard to find a parking space, so we went there via LRT. When we got up the train, none........not a single soul even kind enough to give out their seat to my grandmother. All were occupied by the young peoples and most are these people are from the majority race in Malaysia, not willing to even mention their race here in my blog, not worth it. I stare at every single of them, all just pretend to sleep and pretend not looking at our direction. Pity my grandmother have to stand in the middle and trying to stable herself while the train was moving. Even those who already knew that they are going to get down at the next station, their butt seem to glue at the seat until the door opens for their destination. I not willing to scold people that special '3 words' during Chinese New Year, but I know soon they'll receive their repayment in full for their 'greatfulness'.

Those signboards with 'Aren't we being courteous??', doesn't seems to work. They should put at all seats and change the wording as well to 'Forgive me, I'm going to be disabled any moment now'. I should have taken their photo and post it here for free publicity.

These people are really sick, I really don't know what's on their mind. I always remember even last time during schooling time with those heavy weights at my back, I also willing to give out my place to those elders, even pregnant ladies.......no matter how crowded and no matter where is it even if my station is the last terminal station.

Education system in Msia not working well in educating these people. Sick.....

Happy CNY

Happy Chinese New Year !!!!!

Only day two of this festive but I already down with fever, flu and cough. Thanks to all those junk food and mandarin oranges......and not forgetting the hot weather.

This year.......I received a lot of greeting from my friends as compare to last year. Most importantly is that this year I didn't even take the iniative to send any greetings at all. May be this is the pay off time for all those greetings that I send to them last time without receiving any reply. At least it proves that I'm not that pity in EQ.

What suprise me most is that Felix even send CNY testimonial to me........which is exactly a rare sight. But then he did add to everyone's profiles. It's been awhile that I check out his friendster profile.........still noted his message for that special 'you'. I wonder who is that? But then it's none of my business..........it has nothing to do with me as well.

Another few more days is Valentine's day..........dare not to even think about it. Just let it be......

Mixed feelings...

Counting down.......CNY was just only 2 more days away. Am I happy to welcome it or totally unhappy about it?? Currently still having complex feelings........may be a bit imbalance due to this two days need to work while seeing the others colleagues were happily on leave.......lol.

Today only 15 ppl came to work, tomorrow.......hhmm..........may be less than 10. How could I be normal by seeing how empty, how quiet, how freezing cold the air-cond is when less ppl is around?? Lol........but luckily tomorrow is my last day working. Yeah.........

Anyway day by day been really excited for the NY as it is my year..........RAT!!! Oppsss.........age revealed. Haha........age doesn't seem to bother me that much as recently a lot been asking me is it that I just completed Form 5. Hai........sometimes I wonder should I be happy for being young or sad for being childish? 'Mature'.......may be this is what I should target for this coming CNY. Hopefully it didn't turn out being too old.....lol.

Time really pass by slightly fast......as after we celebrate CNY for 1 week, then here's comes the day where chocolates and flowers price hikes. VALENTINE'S day......Looks like I'll be celebrating it at home.........I wonder will there be any special occassions will be on that night?!

May be something will really happen if I use 'The Secret'.........ok let's give it a try! I wonder these really works for Love as well?!

Sick EQ...

My EQ is worst than what I imagine......

In working life, I'm so left out. Yesterday everyone knew there's a meeting (but no annoucement or email was sent) and nearly all heading towards the room already. I'm still so 'indulge' in my work that I didn't notice everyone is moving towards that one same direction. Until one of the senior finally notice why I'm not moving at all, he asked me why you're still here. I don't even know what's happening until he told me to hurry for that meeting. Even my lunchmate didn't inform me about the meeting........this is not the first time to be the very last to know what's going on.

Most of the senior there doesn't seem to like me as I'm not so good like others in 'bodek' them. Some seniors even purposely make it look worse by giving out rewards to those who 'bodek' them so much.......obviously showing that I'm not part of it. In other people's mind, they might thought that I'm so proud and selfish and don't want to offer any help to the seniors. But the fact is, we're not allowed to simply help someone out as we need to ask permissions from Team Leaders. But who cares about the fact?!

Even in my personal life.......just now saw one of my coursemate online in MSN. Of course like usual will be chatting to follow up what's the latest updates from them. But the only thing that she discuss about is when am I going to treat her. We're both working and obviously my salary was not much differs from hers. What makes her think that I should treat her? I just end the conversation......because it's going no where.

Now where's the problem? Is the problem with me or is just that my life were surrounded by so many sick ppl.....