心情最近很低落.......怕的就是这一天。原本昨晚打算去朋友家过夜，但临时改变主意。以为自己可以很勇敢面对，但到最后还是临时退缩。已有一年多了，我们已有那么久没见面了，上网看到对方也从不谈天了.......我真的以为时间可冲淡一切，但没想到一直以来，只是自己用工作来压抑自己，欺骗自己........

今天还是需要去面对这件事，已答应了我的朋友我会去的........我还有办法欺骗自己再做一场戏吗？我还有办法当着没事和活得很充实开心吗？

我真的需要勇气......

最近这几天又在忙于工作里，很多人请病假再加上已被批准放假的人，我们又得淹没在纸堆里埋头苦干........

公司还在忙着appraisal，奇怪的是我连schedule也没有，难道又被遗忘了？还是快被人给大信封了？之前，Coffee session with 老板，我也没被listed.......我应该开始担心吗？可能我不是那几位有potential的employee吧，很多事不需我加入。

彩虹

我很喜欢这首歌........静静的听它能让我暂时忘掉所有困在我脑海里的烦恼。虽然曲蛮伤感，但词很感人.........

Stress....

不知道为什么，心里很不好受，也没办法专心工作，今天的效率也特别慢........

今天也听见他们说去Kuantan，算了啦，也不是第一次被遗弃......我也不那么稀罕要去，如果被邀请一定是为了要我驾车载他的朋友，为何这么苦，自己找节目吧，多的是朋友.......又开心又享受。

我真的要release stress......太多东西out of control，我要学会放弃这些我无法控制的东西，有些事没人告诉我，就继续当不知道吧，管不了那么多。

Sh1t stress

Tired.....I tried my best to cover every single thing, but in the end, the final decision is not in my hands. I have to do extra work by keep on reminding some people to do what they are suppose to do. If any delay, who were to be blamed? Of course I'm the one because I'm junior. When someone else did wrong, who are the one to cover their @ss? Of course will be me again.

Junior is not define that way....besides no one should be even categories as junior after had been working for more than a year plus. What ever is it.....I really getting tired of it. From this moment on, I'm going to speak out every single thing that's on my mind, like it or not, I'm just being my ownself. I don't favour to polish superior's shoe nor sweet talk.......it's out of my job scope. Don't like it......fire me then.

Today went to main HQ after lunch, round the building twice and couldn't get a single parking and not to mention it's very jam as well. In the end, park in the building basement, just only be there for 3 hrs and it already cost me RM 11.50 and we can't even claim from office. Why not? Just because some people say so.....it's the most ridiculous thing, I come here for work and not for fun, the company couldn't afford to pay the RM 11.50 for 1 employee. Then what's the fuss of sending me here for?? When I was creating millions for the company, where the money went to??

Just not my day, crapping all this Sh1t here just to release some Sh1t stress........

Be alert!!!

Finally my manager has left.......in her farewell speech, she told my batch that happy or not, we all still have to work.......why not choose to be working happily? The only reaction I saw from the senior's face were why weren't we feel happy....... Only those who really care about us will know the reason why. And now one of those who care is leaving us already.

Don't worry boss, I will try my best to be happy. Who knows may be miracle might occur.......

Now it's Hari Raya, finally could have a very long rest after OT for nearly the whole month in September.

On the 30th, we work til 11.30pm. Heard news that one of the colleague from other department was stabbed at the car park opposite our office while he went to took his car around 8pm. He had already given everything he has, but the thief still stab him twice.....luckily it didn't hit any major organ. Just hope that he's fine now......

Can't really imagine what's wrong with all these people, why they still wanted to hurt people......luckily the female colleague who's with him that time was not harm. The day before, I even walked alone to the monorail station and passing by there. Luckily nothing happened........but I have no choice, the only thing I could do is be more careful and alert. Just hope that the police could check that area more often, not only during puasa time only.

Just a reminder to all, no matter where you are, make sure someone knows about it and be alert all the time......I'll be planning to get a pepper spray, I know it couldn't help much, at least it gives me time to make my escape if anything happens.